I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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