I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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