Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
