omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
