I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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