Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
