I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
