2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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