This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
