i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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