Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
