You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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