I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
