I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
