He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have post one night stand depression
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
