Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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