He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
