So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
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woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
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I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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