i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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