areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
