why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize