So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
