She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
