I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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