you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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