I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
