Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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