my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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