You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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