dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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