he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
this will be a night to untag.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
