they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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