Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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