last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
