They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
