id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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