you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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