ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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