I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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