this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize