What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
