last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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