Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
