I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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