Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
