and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
