Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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