Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
