i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
