Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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