i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Randomize
