On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
