My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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