Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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