I would do horrible things to your vagina.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth