Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My pussy is not your playground.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.