on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
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