Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town

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(215): you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town http://tfl.nu/6oiy

Replies (13) Good night (4171) Bad night (724)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

tonight lets celebrate not being married

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(318): tonight lets celebrate not being married http://tfl.nu/u5lc

Replies (19) Good night (7021) Bad night (923)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester

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(908): I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester http://tfl.nu/7fwg

Replies (19) Good night (1025) Bad night (4697)
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(917): View more from New York City

Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.

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(917): Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date. http://tfl.nu/r3cq

Replies (17) Good night (851) Bad night (6628)
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(409): View more from Texas

well he's currently spooning the coffee table

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(409): well he's currently spooning the coffee table http://tfl.nu/7khb

Replies (6) Good night (4251) Bad night (1415)
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(773): View more from Illinois

She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married

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(773): She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win. (1-773): Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married http://tfl.nu/w32w

Replies (19) Good night (1249) Bad night (7631)
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(419): View more from Ohio

who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage

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(419): who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage http://tfl.nu/wlxq

Replies (9) Good night (2860) Bad night (1499)
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(914): View more from New York

Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.

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(914): Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73. http://tfl.nu/mdyq

Replies (14) Good night (2825) Bad night (838)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...

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(502): I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it... http://tfl.nu/upfp

Replies (14) Good night (1961) Bad night (1226)
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(620): View more from Kansas

Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.

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(620): Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/471z

Replies (6) Good night (1407) Bad night (650)
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(410): View more from Maryland

It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.

(301): View more from Maryland

You have a very discerning palate.

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(410): It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze. (301): You have a very discerning palate. http://tfl.nu/r2sj

Replies (11) Good night (908) Bad night (926)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.

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(907): Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping. http://tfl.nu/bd2j

Replies (2) Good night (680) Bad night (399)
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(512): View more from Texas

The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.

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(512): The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount. http://tfl.nu/1v2k

Replies (1) Good night (752) Bad night (355)
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(816): View more from Missouri

He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.

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(816): He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call. http://tfl.nu/jkpw

Replies (3) Good night (298) Bad night (712)
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(813): View more from Florida

Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.

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(813): Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me. http://tfl.nu/mgc8

Replies (6) Good night (396) Bad night (148)

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