Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
