is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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