You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Can Purell be used as lube?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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