I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
