seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
